Siblings
Sibling survivors are often called the forgotten mourners.
"Sibling grief can be overlooked and misunderstood—by parents, families, friends, and even by the siblings themselves. So much focus is given to the parents of the lost child, and, rightly so but, what about the siblings? What about the ones who have grown up with the deceased? Who believed they would have a lifetime with their sister or brother? Who now face that lifetime alone? The sibling grief can be overlooked an...d can this lead to them minimizing their own loss.
Surviving children do, unfortunately, suffer a double loss. In many ways, siblings often experience a double loss: the loss of their sister or brother, and the loss of their parents (at least for a time, but sometimes, permanently).
Young siblings lose innocence when a brother or sister dies, which may lead to fears and anxiety; “Survivor guilt” is also common. Experiencing death as a child becomes a lifelong experience of processing and understanding the loss. Children grow up with grief, understanding more as they get older. Fear of death or dying is common. Anxiety or worry about getting sick may become prevalent and they may fear that their mum, dad or other siblings will die. Because siblings are usually similar in age, it can bring up many questions about the sibling’s own life and death, and guilt along with it. Especially in young children, symptoms like stomachaches, headaches, nightmares, body pain, digestive symptoms, and trouble sleeping are common. These should be seen as symptoms of grief, and hopefully, an adult in the family can help siblings work through their feelings and show that it is ok to grieve".
Although Jack was my own child, I am aware that siblings also have a need for support. In next few days I will be posting information about the services that Brightest Star is about to launch for siblings. This is another aim that we are closer to achieving thanks to all of your fundraising and awareness raising.
Arlene, Jack’s Mummy xxx
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