“Its ok baby, if you are ready to go now its ok, mummy is here, you don’t have to fight any longer, it’s going to be ok, mummy loves you”.
I will never forget saying those final words to jack as he lay about to die in my arms with his dad at his side.
As a parent you feel so helpless lying there knowing that your child is going to die and there is nothing that you can do to save them. For months after Jacks death, I was filled with guilt for saying that to Jack, I kept thin...king, I should have told him to keep fighting but as his mum, I didn’t want him to suffer any longer. Jack had fought to save alive for 36 hours and I remember the doctor kept saying, Jack will decide, Jack will decide when and what happens. I really do believe that Jack didn’t decide to die or did he want to die, I know Jack did all he could all to stay alive but in the end, his little body just couldn’t fight any longer.
Every parent remembers that moment when they held their new-born child in their arms for the 1st time, no parent should ever remember holding their child for the last time as they die in their arms. I would give anything to hold Jack in my arms just one more time. Everyday I feel so sad without Jack but today has been exceptionally hard reliving the final days and hours of his life and my arms ache to feel his cuddle so please cuddle your son or daughter just once more tonight for all the children that aren’t here to have one.
Both Jacks dad and I were lucky to be at Jacks side as he died but I know that some parents are not as lucky. No parent should ever have to endure such a tragedy, your son or daughter should never die. We lost our son overnight to a cold and flu virus so please be extra vigilant with your children during these winter months. I only wish I knew then what I know now.
As I was doing this post, I realised that I don’t have very many pictures of Jack sleeping. If I can give any advice, it is to take as many pictures if you children as you can. You don’t the value of a photograph until it is all you have left
I can’t thank you all enough for the support, kindness and compassion particularly over the last few days. I have read every single comment and I cannot put into the words the impact they have. Thank you for all the awareness that you have helped to raise by commenting, liking and sharing posts.
Arlene, Jack’s Mummy xxx
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