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Grief Is Messy

Grief is unpredictable, messy and ugly but it is something that everyone of us will face at some point in our life.
Have you loved someone through their grief?
Have you always been there for them?
Have you never gave up on them?
If so then your amazing because not everyone is like you..... sadly I hear so many people say how isolated they feel in their grief 💔


When a child or loved one 1st dies, people rally around those that are grieving, the door and phone never stops and the offers of support are countless. Sadly for some people, after the funeral and as the months and years go on, the door and phone stops going and the offers of support are non existent. People have this idea that time solves everything and that grief just stops but it doesn't work like that.

Tonight brightest star is sending love and thanks to everyone that loves and stands by people who are grieving. They need you more than you know 💙

Maybe this is a post for you to thank people who have stood by you in your grief. Let them know that you appreciate them loving you through your grief. Let them know that you appreciate them standing by you when it could have been easier to walk away from you

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Please Just One More Night??

I would give anything to put this little guy to bed for just one more night. To tuck him in, read him a story, feels his cuddle and kiss and hear him say “night night mummy, love you” just one more time. I would give anything to hear him shout “mum” during the night or hear climb out his bed, walk along the hall and appear in my bed saying, “your beds better mum” as he holds my hand and falls asleep. I would give anything for another sleepiness night with him rolling about m...y bed, kicking and punching me as he moved about in his sleep.

Would one more night be long enough? Even the very thought of saying goodbye again is unbearable but I miss that little guy so much that I would take just one more minute with him.

The last night that I put Jack to bed, I had no idea that I would never get to do it again. Life is so empty and sad without Jack. A sadness that I can never describe. Life is precious, make the most of every day because some people aren't lucky enough to live a long life


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My Special Avenger

Little did I know when I was looking for an avengers cake in 2012 that just over 1 month later, Jack would suddenly die and never get to celebrate another birthday again.

Never did I think I would see the day that I would be living without my son but I am. Never did I think that an everyday cold and virus could kill a child but it can. Be extra vigilant with your children as we enter the winter months, I wish I knew then what I know now.

Jack loved his birthday party that ...year and I am lucky that I have these memories. I am lucky that in my broken heart and head, I know my son knew that I loved him and that I would do anything for him. I am lucky that I showered him with love, attention and affection and I took the time every day to show and tell him that he was loved.

In 2012, I had no idea how my life was about to change, life is so precious and like mine, your life could be changed overnight too. No matter how busy you get, always take the time to show and tell your children that they are loved. As I know all too well, tomorrow is never guaranteed.

Arlene XX

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Yesterday I realised that the last time I ever saw Jack alive, he was dressed up. The last time I ever got to feel him kiss, cuddle me back and wave him off to school, he was dressed as an elf. How did all this happen? Why did it have to be him? Why did he have to die? I still can’t believe that I will never see my son again and times like Halloween make the pain feel almost unbearable. I find special occasions and family times so hard, I feel isolated and different from the of world. Life can go on for other people but it can’t for me. I feel stuck in a past and present life.

From a young age, Jack loved to dress up all year round but Halloween was always extra special in our house. Because Jacks Birthday was on Xmas day, I always tried to make other occasions like Easter and Xmas extra special for Jack and his friends, maybe that’s another reason as to why I find these occasions so hard now. Most houses are busy getting their children's Halloween outfits ready, decorating the house, organising the trick or treat bags and taking the children to all their Halloween parties. That used to be my house and my life with Jack and I feel so sad for Jack and all he is missing.

There are thousands of houses missing a son or daughter this Halloween, hundreds of parents feeling the pain of looking at the last pictures of their child dressed up for Halloween. It is not just young children who are missing out this Halloween, there are so many teenagers and adults that are missing out on parties with their friends. It doesn’t matter what age the person is, they are still someone’s son or daughter and those families don’t want them to be forgotten.

As you make Halloween bags for your trick or treaters this weekend or buy a drink for a friend at a Halloween party, spare a thought for those children, teenagers and adults who are no longer here to join in on the fun. Spare a thought for their parents, siblings and families who may be finding this time difficult.

If everyone on this page spent £1 on a trick or treat bag or drink for Brightest Star by Texting JACK06 £1 to 70070 then we could raise nearly £30,000 for bereaved families.

Please share this will your friends and spare a thought for all those who are missing their child this Halloween, send them a text, mention their child names, post their name here. Something so small can mean so much to someone grieving

Arlene, Jack's Mummy xxx

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