I Am Not a Normal Mum

I look like any normal mum but I know that I am different.
People cannot see the pain in my heart that I carry every day.
You never really know someone’s life or story just by looking at them.
I am not a normal mum, I am a bereaved mum.
Early on I felt their stares, watching for signs of how I was coping with my loss.
All eyes on me… wondering how I could possibly go on when they knew there was no way they could.
Time slowly passes.
I was known as the mum whose son died.
There was an awkwardness in our interactions – like they were afraid it’s something you can catch.
I assure you it’s not.
You’re not sure what to say.
It seems the most comfortable thing to do is pretend nothing happened.
Yet, that doesn’t really work either.
They say you should never let your loss define you.
But, I am a bereaved mother.
It may not define me, but it’s a part of my identity now. It’s imprinted, your imprint, weaved throughout my DNA.
How can a loss like this not define every part of me going forward?
As long as people continue to see me as a bereaved mother, they continue to see Jack.
To acknowledge he existed.
This loss, it does define me… and I’m OK with that.
I AM a bereaved mother and I am NOT ashamed to share my grief.
You should NEVER be ashamed either.
The more we talk about our grief, the more people can try to understand.
Grief is the price we pay for love ❤️
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