"Say Their Name" By Emily Graham

Early on I felt their stares, watching for signs of how I was coping with your loss.

 

All eyes on me… wondering how I could possibly go on when they knew there was no way they could.

 

Time slowly passes. I’m known as the mum whose kid died.

 

There’s an awkwardness in our interactions – like you’re afraid it’s something you can catch.

I assure you it’s not.

 

You’re not sure what to say. It seems the most comfortable thing to do is pretend nothing happened.

Yet, that doesn’t really work either.

 

I still feel all eyes on me.

When will she go back to normal?

 

They say you should never let your loss define you.

But, I am a bereaved mother.

 

It may not define me, but it’s a part of my identity now. It’s imprinted, your imprint, weaved throughout my DNA.

How can a loss like this not define every part of me going forward?

 

As long as people continue to see me as a bereaved mother, they continue to see you

To acknowledge you existed.

 

Say their name xx

 

By Emily Graham