A New Year Without You

Starting a new year after losing my son Jack seemed inconceivable 💔
How could I move forward into a new year without Jack, knowing he would be missing from 365 days of that year?

Though it has been over 8 years now, each January, when the calendar turns I am taken back to that first year without Jack.
2012 started like what seemed to be an ordinary, normal year and ended as the most painful, traumatic year of my life. We started the year moving into our new house and we ended the year with me holding you in my arms as you took your last breath 💔

Who knew life could change so fast?
In an instant, my simple, ordinary, blessed life turned upside-down.
There will always be a distinct before/after grief.
You never know going into a new year when a tragedy will happen or how it will forever change you.

To this day, I breathe a sigh of relief if i make it through an entire year without facing more tragedy. That said, no tragedy could ever be as painful as losing my beautiful boy.

Time is precious and never did I realise it so much until I lost Jack.
There isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t miss him, think of what could’ve been, or where he would be now.

My family, friends and Jacks memory are what continues to push me forward. In 2021, there will be days when I don’t want to push forward, and some days I may not but my hope is that most days I do. Without hope, what have we got?

If you have just started a new year or your first new year without your son or daughter, take it hour by hour, day by day.
I never thought I would make it one new year, never mind 8 years but I have and you can too. Maybe we could all start the new year by sharing our child/grandchild/siblings name and talking about our grief. It’s very true that the only people who have walked this path can understand but we can also help others around us to understand/support us by talking about our experiences.

Only together can we break this taboo 💔