Packing Jacks toys away was one of the most heart wrenching things I have had to do. I kept Jacks room and toys the same way for over 4 years after he died and to be honest, if I hadn’t moved to a new house, I don’t know if or when I would have packed his toys away.
Each toy brought back memories of Jack, people will often tell you to “think of the memories” “remember the good times” but what people don’t realise is that those memories are so painful because they are reminders that your child is gone, they are reminders that you wont make any more memories..
I found packing Jacks toys away so traumatising that I didn’t think that I would ever be able to take them back out again. This week, I took the toys out for his little sister Summer J to play with and that was the first time that I have been able to see Jacks toys and not feel upset.
I felt warmth in my heart seeing his little sister playing with the same toys that he loved.
Summer J has developed a love for toy animals just like Jack and ironically, she keeps playing with the Scooby Doo van that Jack got for his last Christmas.
People will tell you to put your child’s things away, to put them in the bin, give them charity and tell you that you will not need them again.
When Jack died, I did not have any other children or intended to have anymore. Six years later, I had Summer J and if I had listened to people’s advice, I would not have had that experience with Summer J this week.
Whether it is your child, parent or any loved one, there is no rush to do anything with their belongings. I hear so many people saying things like “they still have all their things” “their house/room is like a shrine” but everyone copes and grieves differently. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, there is no rush to do things or make decisions, everyone grieves differently.
If you remember anything, please remember that xx
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