Birthdays Before and Birthdays Now...

Birthdays Before and Birthdays Now...

You’ll never know how much I love you
And though you had to go
I’m always thinking about you

If I could take your place
Id do it a thousand times
Now there’s a u-shaped hole in my life
And no
I won’t be the same
You taught me to be brave

And although it wasn’t for long
You told me what love is
No I won’t be the same
You saw me to be brave

And although it wasn’t for long
You taught me what love is

For just less than a year
I never slept at all
And I’ll never sleep again
If I could see you once more

You were too good for this world is love
You were hand-picked for paradise
And no
I won’t be the same
You told me to be brave
And although it wasn’t for long
You never know how much I love you

Britain’s Got Talent and Paediatric-nurse Beth Porch thank you for writing this beautiful song and letting the world know what it’s like to live without your child. If you haven’t heard her song, go listen to it and buy it.


Today is my Birthday and my husband let me here this song when I got to this morning, I don’t think a song has ever touched me so much. It really felt like a sign from Jack today. This song describes exactly what I feel and the daily ache in my heart. Bet thank you for having the courage to talk about the topic that most people would avoid. I totally admire Beth and all paediatric doctors and nurses for the job that they do. In your childs final hours, they become your family, they are the ones who hold you as you say your final goodbye and they are the ones you trust with your child when they pass way. It’s easy for people to forget that in the midst of Covid 19, children are still dying daily. Families are experiencing the heartache that Beth sings about. Spare a moment to think of them.

Today has felt like a day of signs from Jack. I took some birthday cake to his grave and while I was there, I decided to open Jacks Avengers kinder surprise Easter egg so the animals could eat the chocolate. I opened up the egg wondering what toy would be inside it and out of all the Avengers that it could be...
It was the Hulk, Jacks favourite. It really felt the sign that I needed to get today.


Yes lockdown isn’t ideal, having a birthday in lockdown isn’t ideal; but we are alive and we are the lucky ones.

Be grateful for what we have xx

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birthdays before and now

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