There Is No Right or Wrong Way to Grieve

He lives in you, he lives in me,
He watches over everything we see,
Into the waters, into the truth,
In your reflection, he lives in you 💔


Last week we granted our final Christmas wish by sending bereaved parents and siblings to see the Lion King Musical in Edinburgh.
Summer J is too young to go so I decided to buy Summer J this lion king outfit and both her and Jack Lion King figures. Jack absolutely loved all of his animal figures when he was young and I feel that a part of Jack is with Summer J when she plays with his toys.


It has been really emotional bringing Jacks toys back out. Every day of my life, I know that Jack is gone but when I see his toys, all of the memories come flooding back and the rawness of his death is palpable. I love to touch his toys knowing that his hands were the last to touch them but I also feel so sad that never again, will I hold his hand.


Jack has been gone 7 years but I still have all of his belongings and I will always keep them. I have heard people say to other bereaved parents “it’s time to move on” “it’s time to put their things away” “give their things to charity or put them in the bin”.


Who is anyone to tell you what to do or what they think it’s right?
For me personally, putting Jacks things in the bin would feel like I was putting his memory in the bin and I just couldn’t bring myself to do that. Moving house meant that I had to pack up Jacks room and belongings and I found that experience traumatic enough. There is NO right or wrong way to grieve, to remember your child, to mark an anniversary, every parent does it differently and more importantly THEIR way.
I always say, all you can do is whatever gets YOU through each day, the reality is, YOU are the one to has to live with this unbearable loss.
For others, all you can do is be there for that person and allow them to grieve the way they have to.


Arlene, Jacks Mummy xxx

 

There Is No Right Way Pciture feb 2020

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