Special occasions or family get togethers are always emotionally challenging when you have lost your son or daughter.
Every day of your life, you miss their presence but it’s often more prominent when everyone is together and your child is the one that is missing.
Yesterday was Summer Js christening and the first family event we have had since her arrival.
It’s a personal choice but I always feel the need to include Jack in these special days.
It might make people uncomfortable but there’s no way that I could not include my son in my life and in special occasions. I used to worry about making people feel awkward but at the end of the day, dead or alive, your child is your child and why should they not be included the same way everyone else is?
Even though my husband Paul never got to meet Jack I’m incredibly lucky that he actively includes Jack in our family life and he is often the one to come up with ways that we can include Jack.
Most people don’t know this but it was Paul who came up with the idea of calling our daughter Summer J after Jack. I’ll be forever grateful to Paul for everything he doe in Jack’s memory.,
For Summer Js christening, we included Jack in subtle ways but the most poignant was in Summer Js dress, we took a heart from Jacks Christening outfit and put it on Summer Js dress...right on her heart 💙 Their hearts is where they will forever be joined.
This was something that I’d never thought of until now but maybe something that other bereaved parents could do with their children’s clothes.
Maybe your planning a family occasion,
maybe you could be the one to include someone’s son or daughter,
maybe you could be the one to break the taboo and make it normal.
Summer J really was a gift of love from heaven above and I have no doubt that she has the proudest big brother who will forever be included in her life xx
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