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Spending Precious Time

Spending time with your son or daughter is such a precious thing.
Spending time with them after they die feels even more of a precious. Your son or daughter dying is something that no parent wants to think about but I know when my son died, I was very anxious about the very little time I had left with him before he was buried. In the hospital ward, you can only spend a small amount of time with your child before they need to be transferred to the mortuary. Mortuaries also have opening and closing hours so again families are restricted to the times they can see their son/daughter For some families this can be really distressing and the use of a cuddle cot for babies and a cooling system for a child/teenager/adult can prolong the time the parent has with their son or daughter on the ward.

I had previously heard of cuddle cots and the comfort they brought families who had experienced premature or still born births. The cuddle cot allows the family to take their baby home and this is invaluable to those parents. I had never heard of a covercool until I did some research into what was available for toddlers, teenagers/adults. A covercool works similar to a cuddle cot but it is larger so it can be used on older children. I recently spoke with a family who were able to bring their child home for a few days before their funeral thanks to the use of a covercool and I wish I had known about them sooner.

For me, I didn’t want to see Jack in a coffin so we were able to bring him home and have him in his bed the night before the funeral. The house was busy with people coming and going all night and that’s a regret that I live with, I wish I had been able to spend more time with my son that night. By having a cooling system, people could bring their son/daughter home for a longer time and allow more precious time with their child and to say their final goodbyes.

Sadly many children, die in our children’s hospitals every day so we would like to purchase and donate a covercool system to the A & E department at the Queen Elizabeth Sick Kids as we know this is something they need and would get great use out of. This would allow families to spend more time with their son/daughter on the ward before they need to be transferred to the mortuary. In the future, Brightest Star would also like to purchase a Covercool system and Cuddle Cot to store at Hulks Haven in Linwood so funeral parlours and families can use it to take the child home before their funeral service. Sadly something like this is not seen as a necessity to the NHS but to so many families, these can give comfort during the most traumatic time of a parents life.

A cuddle cot costs £1570 and a cooling system £5090 so we really need your help to make this possible, nobody knows if or when they might personally need use of it. Some of our past and future fundraising will go towards this and we have set up a justgiving page especially for this appeal. If you can donate and share this post, then every little will help.

I wasn't intending posting this so soon but the justgiving page seems to got out on social media so thought it would be best to put it out with the story x

https://www.justgiving.com/…/br…/CuddleCotAndCoverCoolAppeal

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2017 Parent Support Meetings

“It took me a long time to attend a meeting, but when I did it felt like coming home or putting a comfy pair of slippers on, feeling support and love in the room with people who you didn't know but you felt as if you had known them all”

“Brightest Star meetings with other bereaved parents is the only thing that sometimes makes sense and it's the only place in which one’s silence is completely accepted, any emotion is. There was never a tunnel only love”.

These are some quot...es from parents who have attended the Brightest Star support meetings. The support meetings are open to parents that have lost a son or daughter, of any age, from any cause of death. The meetings are very informal and there to provide a space for people to talk about their child, their grief, their feelings, their hopes and fears. Some people attend the meetings and don’t wish to talk, they get comfort from just listening to others. Below are the dates for our Glasgow and Edinburgh meetings for 2017, people are welcome to attend either or both.

BRIGHTEST STAR PARENT SUPPORT GLASGOW 2017

Monday 16 January 2017 Don Suite, Level 3, Glasgow Hilton, William Street, 1800-2000
Monday 20 February 2017, Clyde Suite Level 3, Glasgow Hilton, William Street, 1800-2000
Monday 27 March 2017, Don Suite, Level 3, Glasgow Hilton, William Street, 1800-2000
Monday 24 April 2017, Don Suite, Level 3, Glasgow Hilton, William Street, 1800-2000
Monday 22 May 2017, Don Suite, Level 3, Glasgow Hilton, William Street, 1800-2000
Monday 26 June 2017, Don Suite, Level 3, Glasgow Hilton, William Street, 1800-2000
Monday 31 July 2017, Don Suite, Level 3, Glasgow Hilton, William Street, 1800-2000
Monday 28 August 2017, Don Suite, Level 3, Glasgow Hilton, William Street, 1800-2000
Monday 18 September 2017, Don Suite, Level 3, Glasgow Hilton, William Street, 1800-2000
Monday 30 October 2017, Don Suite, Level 3, Glasgow Hilton, William Street, 1800-2000
Monday 27 November 2017, Don Suite, Level 3, Glasgow Hilton, William Street, 1800-2000
Monday 11 December 2017, Don Suite, Level 3, Glasgow Hilton, William Street, 1800-2000

BRIGHTEST STAR PARENT SUPPORT EDINBURGH 2017

Wednesday 1st February 2017, Radisson Blue, The Royal Mile, 1800-2000
Wednesday 22 March 2017, Radisson Blue, The Royal Mile, 1800-2000
Wednesday 3 May 2017, Radisson Blue, The Royal Mile, 1800-2000
Wednesday 14 June 2017, Radisson Blue, The Royal Mile, 1800-2000
Wednesday 16 August 2017, Radisson Blue, The Royal Mile, 1800-2000
Wednesday 27 September 2017, Radisson Blue, The Royal Mile, 1800-2000
Wednesday 1 November 2017, Radisson Blue, The Royal Mile, 1800-2000
Wednesday 6 December 2017, Radisson Blue, The Royal Mile, 1800-2000

Everyone is different, some people find the support groups really helpful, others don’t but I always say that you will never know until you try. If you would like more information on the support groups, then please free to get in touch.

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A Man In Grief

It must be very difficult
To be a man in grief,
Since "men don't cry"
and "men are strong"

No tears can bring relief.
It must be very difficult
To stand up to the test,
And field the calls and visitors
So she can get some rest.

They always ask if she's all right
And what she's going through.
But seldom take his hand and ask,
"My friend, but how are you?"

He hears her crying in the night
And thinks his heart will break.
He dries her tears and comforts her,
But "stays strong" for her sake.
It must be very difficult
To start each day anew.
And try to be so very brave-
He lost his child too.

Author Unknown

 

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Here To Help

We are now back after a much needed rest and as always, we are here to support families affected by the death of a son/daughter at any age, from any cause of death.

If you are looking for support after the loss of a child, we offer peer support, group support, one to one or couples counselling. For siblings we offer play therapy or a bereavement programme.

Sadly, due to demand our appointments fill up very quickly so if you would like to arrange an appointment please get it t...ouch via email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it., private message or call our office on 0141 2483 132.

If you have any questions then please do not hesitate to get in touch. I will get back to you as quickly as possible but I ask that you keep in mind that I am not in the office every day.

Arlene x

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