Mother's Day

Over the years, it had crossed my mind of how Mother’s Day would feel if my own mum wasn’t alive but it had never crossed my mind what Mother’s Day might feel like if my child was no longer alive.
Sadly like so many others, I now know what the latter feels like. I really did think that I would hold Jacks hand forever, never did I imagine having to let it go forever.

Being a mum was the best thing to ever happen to me and being a bereaved mum is the worst thing that has even happened to me.
Nobody teaches you how to be a mum, it is filled with am I doing this right? Am I doing that right? Am I good mum? Are my children happy? Have I done enough?
When your child dies those questions multiply and take a whole different meaning. Nobody can prepare you for the “Was this my fault?” “Could I have done more” “Did I do enough” “What if” “I could have, I should have”. When we are pregnant, we can read books on parenting, we can ask other mums for advice but where do you turn when you child has died? Nobody can quite understand the guilt that you feel as a bereaved mum but….

“I have to tell you this,
You did not fail, not even a little,
You did not choose this,
You didn’t want this to happen,
You didn’t do anything wrong.
It just happened, to you.

Despite your being, pleading, praying, hoping against all hope it would not happen,
You could not have prevented this if you tried harder, prayed harder or were a better person,
There is nothing more that you could have done,
You did everything you possibly could and you are the best mother there is because you would have done anything to keep your child alive.

No one else could do what you do,
No one else could ever mother your child as well as you can, as well as you are,
No one else could let you child’s love and light shine through the y you do,
No one else could mother your dead child as bravely
No one else could carry this unrelenting burden as courageously. It is the heaviest most torturous burden there is,
You were chosen to be your child’s mother and no one could parent your child better in life or in death than you do
It takes incredible strength to mother a child you can no longer hold, touch, see or hear.
You are the mother of all mothers”.

Mother’s day is a day of sadness for so many so today and I want as many bereaved mothers as possible to read the above quotes from “You are the mother of all mothers”.

Tonight, I am asking you all to take a minute from your day to think of those mothers who don’t have their children with them on Mother’s Day, the mothers who are living every parent’s worst nightmare.

Brightest Star provide support to bereaved mothers, fathers, adopted parents and step parents in the form of monthly peer group support meetings, one to one counselling and intensive therapy workshops. Sadly the number of families that need our support is growing each month and with Hulks Haven open, we can now provide them with a dedicated place to come. My post last Mother’s Day was seen by 182, 2336 people, if this years was seen by the same and each one of them donated just £1 by texting Jack06 £1 to 70070 then we could raise so much to help with the work that Brightest Star provides for bereaved parents and siblings

Please help to let this post reach as many bereaved mums as possible by sharing, commenting liking or tagging your friends in it. Let’s make them know that they “Are the Mother of all Mothers”

Love and strength to all those living without their child on Mother’s Day.

Arlene, Jack’s Mum xxx